Master/slave or Dom/sub is there really a difference? I’ve seen it written somewhere and forget where so please excuse me not sourcing the original writer.

A submissive obeys and serves by choosing to do so each time and retains their will. A slave initially makes a choice to obey their Master at all times and then submits to the will of their Master at all times. A submissive accepts submission, while a slave accepts obedience. In my opinion, a submissive retains freedom of choice and a slave gives their freedom of choice to their Master.

While there are people who adhere strictly to this protocol there are of course differing levels of this dynamic. All of which should be individually suited for your given situation. Don’t fall into a cookie cutter ideal of what a M/s or a D/s relationship should be.

To open our discussion into what BDSM is and is not, lets start with the adopted emblem seen in the header of this site. I’ve thought about how I can describe the meaning behind the emblem and what it stands for but have come to the conclusion that is much easier for me to re-post here how the originator describes it. His site is called The Emblem Project.

The BDSM emblem has no “obvious” symbolism because it was created to be enigmatic. To the vanilla observer who would be put off by BDSM, it is merely an attractive piece of jewelry. Thus, we can wear it freely as a friendly salute, nod, and wink to other BDSMers we should happen to pass on the sidewalks and in the hallways of our daily lives.

To the insider, however, the Emblem is full of meaning.

The three divisions represent the various threesomes of BDSM. First of all, the three divisions of BDSM itself: B&D, D&S, and S&M. Secondly, the three-way creed of BDSM behavior: Safe, Sane, and Consensual. Thirdly, the three divisions of our community: Tops, Bottoms, and Switches.

It is this third symbolism that gives meaning to the holes in each unit. Since BDSM is at the very least a play style and at its greatest a love style, the holes represent the incompleteness of any individual within the BDSM context. However “together” and “whole” individuals may be, there remains a void within them that can only be filled by a complimentary other. BDSM cannot be done alone.

The resemblance to a three-way variation on the Yin-Yang symbol is not accidental. As the curved outline of Yin and Yang represent the hazy border between where one ends and the other begins, so do the curved borders here represent the indistinct divisions between B&D, D&S, and S&M.

The metal and metallic color of the medallion represents the chains or irons of BDSM servitude/ownership. The three inner fields are black, representing a celebration of the controlled dark side of  BDSM sexuality.

The curved lines themselves can be seen as a stylized depiction of a lash as it swings, or even an arm in motion to deliver an erotic spanking. The all-embracing circle, of course, represents the overlying unity of it all and the oneness of a community that protects its own.

Taking the discussion a step further lets understand what the emblem IS and IS NOT.

The BDSM emblem is a design based on a Triskele. The Triskele is the basic shape of the Emblem, with three “arms” curving out from the center and merging with an encompassing circle. The Triskele is an ancient shape that has had many uses and many meanings in many cultures. Not all Triskele’s are BDSM emblems. It is the details of the design that make it the BDSM Emblem. Not the basic shape.

All three of these graphics are the Real Thing. Their details meet all the critical criteria of the BDSM Emblem design:

1) The rims and spokes are of a color indicating metal, in this case gold, iron and silver.

2) The rims and spokes are of uniform width with the arms rotating clockwise.

3) The inner fields are black.

4) The holes in the fields are truly holes and not dots.

It is only with a true understanding of the meaning behind the emblem can one even begin to grasp what this lifestyle means to those of us who live it. Even then, the true beauty, balance and connection will not be understood by many.